Monday, 16 November 2009

A Hard Day in TheMadHouse

Sometimes I have a down day too.  I try and remain positive and to see the best of everything and every one, but today has scratched at my very being and coping mechanisms.

I am a doer, an organiser, a mover, I am capable, I am a coper, I am the best I can be (I know I sound like something out of dollshouse there), but today I have been beaten.

Today I went to have my stitches out, I was sick at the hospital, I was sore on the drive home and in pain.  I dropped MiniMad at preschool and came home to try and do a home blessing, which is my normal Monday routine.  I put the meet and home made pasta sauce in the slow cooker and tried to do the polishing, but I couldn't.

So I decided to make a cup of tea, but the kettle was too heavy, so I had a glass of milk and sat down to read some of my blogroll.  The the phone rang, it was the preschool MaxiMad had been crying for his mummy, for me.  So I went and collected him, in the 5 minutes it took to collect him, he had cried himself to sleep.  I felt like a failure.

I rang my lovely friend who had looked after MiniMad whilst I went to the hospital this morning and she collected MaxiMad from school for me.

Then we all curled up on the couch and watched Star Wars, MiniMad was introduced to Darth Maul and then we watched MaxiMad play it on the wii and waited, we waited for MadDad to come in and take over.

And home he came and cooked the pasta and tended to us all.  I am not used to being useless, I mange when when I shouldn't.  I am a mum and I need to be there for my family.  I am tired and I think it is catching up on me.

So I am going to take it easier, I will manage, I have to.  But I needed a little self pity and to let it all out.  So tonight I am having a blip, a pause, a little wobble.  It isn't my first and it certainly wont be my last.

Until then ther is always ...

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Stephanie said...

I think you are doing amazingly well. I really do. Sending warm, warm wishes and strength, and the knowledge that there will be good days too, and the good days will outweigh the bad, in the end.

Stephanie xx

whoatemycrayons said...

Sorry to hear you have been down. I know it must be hard to not be able to do all those things you used to. I think it's okay to have these down moments because then we can appreciate those up moments even more. Take it easy and look after yourself!

dottycookie said...

Oh, I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. We all have them, and you are absolutely allowed to be fed up - having two small children is tiring enough withiout having just gone through surgery.

Hoping today feels better for you, and you get a chance to sit down. I know it's horribly annoying when the house isn't straightened up the way you want it to be but honestly, it will still be there tomorrow!

cowgirl in wellies said...

I'm so sorry you're not well today. I hope you can take an easy day today. It sounds like your body needs some healing time.

Aingeal said...

I hope today is better for you. You should rest if you need to, try to take it easy.

Floss said...

Well, I remember sitting on the stairs of our tiny flat and crying when our boys were about the age of yours. I can't even remember why, but I didn't have half of your excuses...

As you say, everyone is allowed an off day.

The Star Wars Cure is a good one - May the Force Be With You today!

Anonymous said...

I hope today is being kinder to you. And if not, then sod the housework, the cooking and and the cleaning. Put your feet up, cuddle your babies, and order a takeaway. That's what we do when Mr Mutterer is ill, we're not super-human and neither are you.

Sending you big hugs and lots of love. You are amazing, even if you don't feel it right now.

Your fabric arrived this morning, I'll be making a start on your teddy later today :)


Melitsa said...

Hope you have a better day. Love you attitude.

Vic said...

I'm sure star Wars is the answer to all my problems with the boy.
Hope you're feeling better soon.

Very Bored Housewife said...

Virtual hugs to you. You shouldn't feel guilty about needing some help and some rest, put your feet up and let someone else take over for a bit.

Hope you feel brighter soon. xx

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