Sunday, 7 March 2010

A Pause in Lent - Tempation


As I write this I am tired, not just physically, but also mentally too.  My mum is home, well at my home at the moment and visiting, arranging and organising has really tested me this last couple of weeks and will continue to do so I imagine.

Firstly mum is going to be staying in TheMadHouse until we can arrange for stair lifts, which should have been done by the hospitals in-house social care and social work team, but the lady responsible for mum was off sick, so it was either stay in hospital (which she really didn't want) or come home to me.  The only other alternative was to move a bed downstairs to her dining room and that wasn't going to happen as that was were my paternal grandfather died.

So here she is, which is such a relief, we have the oxygen machine and she is sleeping in the conservatory.  At least this way I can keep an eye on her and she can join us for all our meals too.

My giving up shouting for lent has been better this week too, as I have been far too tired to shout, no really, the fact is the boys have enjoyed the change in the weather and going to the park after school is back on the daily agenda, as it lots of time outside on scooters and running around.

All of these experiences has really got me thinking about temptations and trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes.  I am so aware that my mum is desperate not to lose her independence, so I have been trying to approach things from a different angle with her.  to not make her feel any worse about her situation.

Temptations

The worst thing for me is that this illness is preventable, this illness is all caused by smoking.  My mum has been a lifelong smoker and this is why she is now on oxygen 15 hours a day and can not get up the stairs on her own.  

She shouldn't be like this, in fact no one should have to be like this.  As an ex-smoker (I stopped as soon as I was pregnant with Maxi) this makes me incredibly angry.  

Cigarettes are killers and shouldn't be available.  I can not believe that once my children turn 16 they will be able to walk in to a shop and buy something that can kill them.  It just seems so unnecessary to me, how in this day and age can we allow this to go on.

Anyway I will jump down from my high horse and try and be more understanding and try and get through the next weeks and months with as much grace as I can.



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Comments (9)

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I agree! My Gran found that after too many years smoking that she couldn't give up so spent her last few years telling all her Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren not to smoke or she would haunt them once she died. I listened!
It's so nice that she is home with you but caring for someone is a huge burden when you already had an awful lot on your plate. Make sure you continue to take some time for yourself. Get some care workers in to give you a break if necessary and be pushy with the NHS to get the support you are entitled to!
Absolutley, get all the help you can as you need a break. I hope your brother is helping you chase up social services etc then you won't feel so alone in your battle.
I smoked very briefley at 18 but never liked it- hubby was a heavy smoker but stopped about a year after we met & never went back.
Jess has tried a cigarette & didn't like the taste. I don't think Joe will even try.
The ones who smoke in my family on my brother's side are the ones who are permanently strapped for cash - but have to have their ciggies !!!
Hope you can get a break Jen just to get some time alone to recharge your batteries. Take care xx
How exhausting for you .... we are non smokers apart from my sons who are well aware of the dangers and despite their father's constant nagging still choose to carry on with the dreadful weed (my FIL had lung cancer). We have seen other family members suffer too but the government will never ban it because they rake in too much tax from them. Take care of yourself too x
I can understand your anger about the smoking. My mother died of it, although she never was a heavy smoker, but smoked all her life. Nothing would make her stop. I grew up hating the smell of our flat, the smell of her hands, her breath. This is why I never started it. She knew it didn't do any good to her health yet never even considered giving it up, so many arguments about it, without success. Would she have stopped if she knew that this would have enabled her to meet her grandchild? Not sure. It's a terrible addiction, taken far too lightly.
Oh! I understand completely, I gave up smoking 24 years ago, and I came frrom a family of smokers. My Mum died from Lung cancer, and I can't help but wonder if she would have still been here with us if she had given the hateful tobacco up years ago. I suspect yes. I send you all love and hugs. suzie xxx
Oh! And do try to give yourself some time to rest! If you can! xxx
Cigarettes are appalling things. There is a lot governments can do. The smoking rate is very low here in California, due to the high taxes and the fact that you basically can't smoke in any public places, even parks. Glad to hear your mum is feeling better and that you are able to help, but so sorry to hear about her illness.
As a reformed ex-smoker I HATE HATE HATE smoking. I'm so sorry your mum is ill. I looked after my dad and you do turn into the parent and they turn into the child. Remember to ask for help and look after yourself x

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