The Gallary - My Current Favorite Photo

I love lots of photo's and favorite choice changes with my mood, the time of day and well the month, year and all that jazz too.

At the moment my favorite photo is not one I took, but one that Mrs W from Clinically fed Up took when we were at The Mad Awards.  I love it because it captures the whirlwinds that are my boys.

Then I have my second favorite one, why well this is because it captures all of us Mads, happy laughing and generally having fun.

And you see that is the beauty of an image, it is a snap shot, a trigger of a memory, a certain moment in time, which is precious for a certain reason and even more precious at certain times.  

For me at the moment, it is my boys, my family that is getting me through each day and night, so they are my favorite and my best (as Lola would say)!

See more favorites over at this weeks Gallery

Manners Maketh the Man or Boys, but what is imporatant?

I have said many times that I want my children to be happy in life, but in order for me to be happy with them, I need for them to have a firm and good set of core values and beliefs, so below are a list of things we are working to instill in them.

Respect for the opposite sex

It is incredibly important for me that the boys, value, cherish and respect girls.  That they understand the differences and uniqueness and celebrate them for it.  I want the boys to become good men.

Family

To me family is everything, I want the boys to learn to love our family, to understand that we all love each other, even when we do not agree and that our love is unmovable and so will theirs be.  That home is a safe haven and will always be just that their home.  They should be houses built on a firm foundation.

Hardwork

I want them to understand that you have to work hard to get what you want and need and that there is no shame in putting in 100%, in fact that the more you give often the more you get back.  I want them to be determined, tenacious and to strive for things.  I want them to come to me with solutions for approval, to look beyond the issues.

Honesty and Integrity

I want the boys to always try and be honest and truthful.  I want them to understand that the cornerstone of most relationships is trust.  This is a hard lesson, especially as a child, but one that will see them through their whole lives and enrich relationships. I also want them to be honest to themselves.

Love and friendships

The more we give the more we receive, to be loved is the most precious thing in life.  To have firm friendships and develop close bonds.  I want them to learn to trust their intuition regarding their friends and to be good friends to each other too.  To learn that showing affection is a good thing and should be expressed.

Quietness

This is a hard one, but I hope to instill in them the ability to enjoy peace and quiet, not only in the world around them, but to find it in themselves.  To be aware of the stillness, openness and potential of intentional silence and not find the need to fill the spaces.

Respect

I want them to respect their elders, to know when to open doors and step back, but I also want them understand respectfulness,  to take peoples feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration,  To grow to understand that respect is earned by their actions and reactions.

Compassion

For me this means teaching what goes around comes around and that they should treat people how they would wish to be treated.  That it is OK to empathise with someone, but that sometimes compassion requires an action.

Responsibility and accountability

To understand that they have a choice of what to do with their lives, but that choice comes with a cost, that they have to be not only , responsible but accountable for their actions and to learn to understand the difference.

Manners

As my mum will say, manners cost nothing, but mean so much.  Please and thank you are sacred words in this house.  Please may I have, not I want.  It is amazing what a difference a turn of phrase can make.  Holding open a door, not pushing past someone.  Manners maketh the man and in my boys case I really hope this is true.  I feel that they can get away with being a little cheeky if they have the manners to back it up.

 So for us the next challenge is how to keep instilling these essences in to the boys.  How to reinforce our messages and help them become the men that I hope they have the poential to be.  I am a great believer of behaviour breeds behaviour, so a lot of the time, I try and do as I say and lead my example, but it is not always as easy.


What values do you want your children to have and how are you working on instilling and teaching them to them?

When the Sun comes out to play, so do we

It is so much more fun when the sun is shining and we have been making the most of the last few days of MadDad being on Annual Leave, before I have the boys to myself for the last week of the holidays next week.

Vanilla Scones from The Pioneer Woman - Yum

Chocolate cakes - never fail to be eaten

I tried this, not very successfully, but had a great day out.

The boys went to Locomotion at Shildon, which is part of the National Railway Museum

They had a brill time and are already asking to go back.

We all enjoyed the sunshine in Saltburn yesterday (after football practice), mainly spent in the Valley Gardens

Ice creams all round.

There is a project taking shape in the garden

Boys and their toys!

I so don't want this week to end and MadDad to go back to work.

Jury Service

I have been issued a summons for Jury Service at the beginning of June.  I do not fall into any of the categories that are able to decline or are ineligible for attendance, but I just don't know how to fit it in with our family commitments.

I know that sounds such a terrible thing to say, but MadDad works and leaves at 6.30am and doesn't get back in to 5.45pm.  I drop Maxi at school at 8.30am and then I look after Mini and my mum till 12.30pm when I take mini to preschool.

I collect both the boys from preschool and school at 2.50pm and 3pm respectively, keep them occupied, prepare dinner, feed them, bath them etc.

I can arrange before school and after-school wrap around care for Maxi via the school at a cost of £6 per day for the duration and I think that he would be fine with that, but Mini is another issue.

I am loathed to put him in to day care for any length of time, he really suffered when I was in hospital and so did we.  It took months to get him back to his normal self.  I can not leave him with my mum for obvious reasons and MadDad does not really get enough holiday to take it off to cover childcare. 

Also I know my brother would step up and look after my mum, but it would make their life really difficult too.

So what do I do, I could ask for a 12 month deferral, by then Mini would be in school, so could do the wrap around care and it would also give more time for my Brother to be able to help my mum and also for her to be in better health?

Or do I just tell them all of the above and see what they say?

I know it is my civic duty and I don't want to be a shirker, but what if I get allocated a trial that will take longer than two weeks, who will look after my family then?

MadDad has done Jury Service, but it was pre Maxi and therefore, we didn't have any issues at all, but any of you mums and dads out there, what have you done?

What is so wrong with my Children?

Five

The most destructive known hurricanes rate as Category 5
Muslims pray to Allah five times a day
Five the number of digits on one hand or foot
The pentagram, or five-pointed star  

five elements: (water, fire, earth, wood, and metal)

The five basic tastes are sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and umami.

Maxi's last night as a four year old

Five for me is the age that Maxi turns on the 16 March.


For five years we have been blessed to have watched you grow and develop
To see you start to become the man you have the potential to be.
You fill my heart with joy, with optimism and excitement.
You have brought many smiles to my face and many tears to my eyes.
You have made me realise that being responsible doesn't have to be scary all the time.
You make me jump in ice cold sea and allow me to feel the sand between my toes.
You give me the freedom to sit next to you and listen to you read to me.
You are a shoot waiting for the right elements to allow you to grow
Sometimes I just have to look at you, to watch you sleep and eat and play
To see a glimpse of the world through your eyes
The innocence of a child coupled with a worldly wiseness beyond your years.
What a wonderful ride these first five years have been 
Here to many, many more

Who is Maxi?

He is a whirlwind, a ball of energy
Tenacious, persistent, a know it all
Cheeky, endearing and charming
A flirt, a firm friend and a joyous heart
He is kind and caring
Perceptive and knowing
An eternal optimist,
A tryer, a doer and  an ever inquisitive mind
He shines in a crowd
He is a affectionate and a contemplative
Creative and inspiring
He has a wonderful imagination
He is compassionate and honest
Generous, brave and loyal
He lights up our lives

Thank you for lighting up our lives, for being the best big brother and for being a wonderful son.  I would go to the end of the earth for you.  I have spent hours and hours in surgery to be with you and to have the pleasure of seeing you grow.  Wow how can you be five already.  I love you.

The Past in Pictures

Once I started scanning in pictures, well I couldn't stop and I have asked my mum of I can have the family tin, which is a box full of wonderful pictures and things from our family history.

 

Look at those side burns, this is me and my wonderful dad.  I still have the rabbit, well mini has claimed it and my mum still lives in the same house, although she doesn't have the bar or the wonderful mural on the wall in the sitting room.

This is me and my wonderful paternal Grandad who lived with us.  I was his reason for living.  He suffered from cancer before I was born and he always said he was waiting for me, he died when I was 17.

 

Me and Lassie, Lassie was my Dad's dog given to him by his mum before she died way before I was born.  Lassie was my guard dog.  They used to pop me outside in my pram to sleep during the day and Lassie would guard me.

 

Me and Mum, Mum was an older mother and she always seemed so glamorous to me growing up.  She made most of her and my clothes and I never really appreciated how much effort she put in.  we couldn't afford cloth kits (which were all the rage when I was little), but she would make our clothes from scratch often working late in to the night.  Oh and look I have red shoes on again.

Been There, Done That

We have come a long way baby, we really have since 2000.

I used to be a hard nosed career woman living in Berkshire with the love of my life. I  loved my job, I was good at it and relished the challenges it brought.  I managed projects, relocated 600 people in to a brand new 160000 square foot campus and I did it with time to spare and nothing but commendations.  I was super organised and a super organiser!!

In 2000 my dad was fatally injured in an industrial accident.  They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, well this tested us all and MadDad was a tower of strength for all the family. It took the next 4 years for resolution to be agreed upon, Health and Safety prosecuted them and an inquest was heard.  It was a painful time for us all.  My dad is sorely missed still to this day and not a week goes by when I am not desperate to tell him something about my life.

Then our world was turned on its head again, March 2005 MaxiMad was born after a crash section, we named him after my Farther and our Grandfathers (3 of whom were called William).  After 10 years of marriage we were floored by our wonderful little man.

In June 2005 we nearly lost him, but he was a fighter and MadDad and I spent 2 weeks constantly by his side at the Royal Berkshire Hospital and we made the decision to relocate back to the North East so that I could be a stay at home mummy.

We moved back in April 2006 and two months later in June 2006 MiniMad was born, 3 weeks early and looking so much like his big brother did.  I was smitten, as was the whole family.

But wow all of a sudden my 15 month old MaxiMad stopped looking like a baby and started looking like a toddler.

Just like his big brother did when he was small, MiniMad decided that we needed a scare too and was admitted to The RVI in Newcastle a good 60 miles away, but we got through it.

We celebrated our first Christmas as a family of four in a new home and we have grown to love this house, our home.  It has become my haven.  MiniMad just fitted in to our family, it was as though we had always had him and him us.

Amongst all of this my dear Aunt was diagnosed with a rare cancer and we found out that we carried the BRACA spelling mistake and the rest as they say is history, we it is my history.  In 2008 I had my ovaries and tubes removed.

In 2009 MaxiMad started school.  I cried my baby was at school how could this be.  I have only just given birth to him.  He loves it.

I have learned that I do not need 5 star holidays (although they are wonderful) camping is great with my boys as long as a I am warm and we have alcohol!!

I underwent my double mastectomy in February, so end this decade with two less body parts than I started it with, but with the knowledge that the dreaded C is so much less likely to come and visit.

It has been a wild ride, taking roads that I didn't even know existed, let alone signposted and that is the great thing, life is all about how you travel and which roads you take, not where you end up.  Yep the journey not the destination is important.  So I am in it for the ride, so come on next decade, lets enjoy it together!

Social Club Childrens Party

I somethimes think that pictures can say things much better than words, but have to say a great big thank you to my wonderful sister in and law and the Ladies of Steel for putting on such a fantastic event yet again!!

Cousins in the calm before the storm

Kissin Cousins

The Club looking all festive

Best friends having a bop

Mince pie number 5

Putting the world to rights!

You can never have enough chocolate mum!

Oh no, see the lip just starting to wobble

Ending the night raving on the stage

Big Fish, Little Fish, Cardboard Box

The boys fell asleep in the car on the way home at 10pm and we put them straight to bed.  There is nothing better than watching my children have fun.  In fact that is the equation for this Christmas Happy Children = Happy Mum

MadDad is at home until the children go back to school on 4 January, so can not promise a daily post, but safe to say we are having a wonderful time as a family and we are introducing the boys to the world of Indiana Jones, after having to buy the Star Wars original trilogy on DVD after minimad wore them out on VHS!

Plus we both have or had a nasty cold and are soldiering on regardless.