Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor or what I wish I known when choosing a career

When I was growing up I always wanted to be an accountant, well I gave it a try and did pretty well, but it wasn't for me.  The only interaction I got was with numbers, so I took an opportunity and became an Office Manager for a small company who were on the up.

I used my skills to help relocate the company to Berkshire and went on to become a Facilities Manager for a large software company.  I loved my job, but.....

It just wasn't flexible enough when in came down to spending time with my children.   It was kind of an all or nothing position, where if the office was burning, I would need to be there.  I couldn't give my boys 100% and work 100%, it just didn't add up and as you have guessed, I am an all or nothing type of person.  I would never have been satisfied in not being the best I could.

So we made the decision to relocate back to the North East in the hope that we could afford for me to be a stay at home mum.  What went wrong, well I needed to have the operations, I had complications and MadDad was forced to take unpaid leave and we were forced to get in to debt to pay the mortgage.  So I guess life happened!

So no financially we are in a bit of a bind here in TheMadHouse and the time has come for me to start looking for another job, ideally starting in September when MiniMad goes back to school.

I wish it was as simple as it sounds, but I am not willing to compromise on my time with the children, so I am looking for:

A school hours job, which would need to be term time only or

A job working from home or

An Evening Job

I am looking, but these jobs are like gold-dust, they are what every mother seems to be looking for and that my friends is what brings me to my title.

When at careers fairs whilst growing up, I was encouraged to find myself a career, something high powered, something full on, something 9 to 5, what no one ever told me is that once you have children things change.  You may find yourself wanting to take career break, which can mean it is hard to keep up with current requirements for your chosen career.  You might want to work shorter hours and this can be hard when managing people and contracts.  

What I wish I had known back then was that I wouldn't have wanted to be at work during my children's early years, the years when I can influence them and make an impact on their lives and that when I did return to work I wouldn't have the same ambition or requirements.

So it is back to looking through the papers, visiting the job centre and networking for me.  Trying to find a position that fits in with the needs of my family.

In an ideal world, I would love a job share with MadDad, but we went down different paths, so it isn't possible.  I don't want to be a teacher, I know that although it may seem like a suitable term time position, but all the teachers I know put in about double the hours people realise.

It just seems like a waste, I know my mother feels that it truly is, or at least she did.  She admitted that she feels that she was envious of the fantastic career that I had and wishes she had been privy to the opportunities I had, but the truth is that I feel that the children are my job and I am more than happy to make them my priority for the immediate future.

Would I have gone down the same road if I had realised that I would feel this way after I had the children.  Well hindsight is a wonderful thing.  I really don't know.

What I might have done was look at a flexible career, maybe nursing, or maybe even looked at being a teaching assistant.  I most definitely would have taken a serious look at working for myself in a flexible position.  Even being a hairdresser would have given me more options than I currently have.

So how do I move forward from this, for once I have no idea.

Mummy I want to marry you

said the eldest mini mad today. This is something that is coming up more and more recently. So I explained very patiently that I couldnt marry him as I was already married to MadDad. "Thats OK mummy, I will wait till he is dead".

That will be a long time I countered and really you should marry someone your own age that you love. "I love you mummy" he said. I know I replied I love you too and I always will love you, even if you are naughty I will still love you. We are family and that is forever.

"You are my best friend Mummy" and that was the end of that conversation.

5 minutes later the youngest Mini Mad comes in declaring he has a baby in his tummy and it is going to grow big and then I can look after it. "How did it get there?" I asked. "I ate it mummy" he replied and I left it at that not wanting to get in to the whys and wherefores with a 3 year old.

About 10 minutes later he came and told me it was twins and again I just mumbled that cool. "Mummy can we grow a baby in your tummy" fear ran through my body and he then gave me a jelly baby and said "here mummy this is the seed". Oh the minds of 3 year olds.

Traffic light Jellys

My boys like most children love jelly's, but they also love making them. One of my abiding memories of childhood is sitting on the kitchen counter top eating jelly cubes.

With this in mind we make jelly's the old fashioned way and I half the cubes and save the rest for next time.

Today we have made traffic light jelly's, which takes a little longer, but the mini mads really enjoy doing. A fun way to spend yet another rainy afternoon and the real plus is that we all love eating them. We also add soft fruit to the layers if we have any, but the cupboards are bare at the moment!