First an update on my giving up shouting. I am trying and trying I am, I have not yet succeeded, but I am more aware of it, as are the boys. If I do shout they tell me off, but they also react. So I am still trying to give up shouting, just as the boys are trying to give up fighting!
What is lent and what should it mean to me as a modern reluctant worshiper?
I find this very hard to fathom, yes I know that it is a time of reflection and preparation for Easter. A time to consider Jesus sacrifices and also his time spent in the desert. A time to consider Judas' betrayal. But how does that correspond to my life as a modern day mum of two boys and how do I mark this event?
I said last week that I didn't want to forsake something like chocolate, as I wanted the boys to understand that giving up something didn't mean taking from or self deprivation and that in choosing to try and give up shouting it was of benefit to us all.
But even then that just doesn't feel to represent enough what lent should mean. I am finding it hard to navigate this journey through lent, it is without many of the familiar sights and sounds of other times of the Christian calender.
MadDad and I were married during Lent, the vicar thought it was a great idea and we were allowed to remove the purple cloths and to also bring in to the church flowers for the service. In our local church they never had flowers during lent and also covered the crosses with purple cloths. In doing this we upset a number of the older congregation, but still to this day I do not understand why it should not be as acceptable to be married during lent.
Out vicar told me I should look upon lent as a time when Jesus put others before himself and that for a good and strong marriage we should always consider the other person, that we should love one another as Jesus would have loved us.
So for me Lent has become a time where I tend to take stock and concentrate on my marriage, to try not to put the children and others first all the time, but to try and concentrate on MadDad, to not expect everything to just work, every good machine needs a little oil at some time.